Laws of the land: [for the lols laws ]
No Time Warner Cable. They have bad internet connection and Belka is better than that.
No Anime. At all. It is banned and you will be fined $5,000 for every minute of anime, or anime picture found.
No drinking straight out of the carton. It shall get you fined $200 for a gallon and $50 for a liter.
No Moscow. Referring to this strange city is treated as treason and punishable by death, our capital is Dinsmark.
No My Little Ponies. This is or being a brony is punishable by gulag.